Being a Switch wasn’t something that I’d ever considered when we started our journey into kink. However, embracing both roles has been one of the best things that has happened to me and our sex life.
At the beginning, the idea of being Hubby’s Dominate was a foreign concept. Naturally a Submissive, I love being spanked and everything else that comes along with being dominated; it felt weird to take control of Hubby. I was even more uncomfortable being vocal and giving him orders. Becoming a switch and embracing my inner Dominatrix is a learning process.
It all began while we were exploring pegging. As I embraced my strap-on, I discovered that something inside of me loved it. I wasn’t simply playing a role and going through the motions of pegging to please Hubby. Instead, I found that something was shifting inside of me. Feeling free to explore different aspects of my sexual identify, I’ve found that I liked the idea of having both sex organs. As strange as it may sound, wearing my strap-on feels natural and the way that it should be. Through pegging Hubby a new me began to emerge as i discovered new sexual pleasures.
Allowing my inner dominatrix to emerge didn’t come as naturally. Considering my past, it’s no wonder that I easily fall into the submissive role. But wanting to please Hubby, I began to step out and take an assertive lead.
It was difficult at first; to say the least. I started out with little things here and there while we played. Before long I began to look forward to having Hubby do what I wanted rather than receiving pleasures in ways that he desired. As time went on and I opened myself up to Hubby’s fantasies of being dominated, I discovered that it was liberating to be in control of the pleasures for both myself and him.
Delving deeper into domination, I began to explore its BDSM side. To my surprise, I loved it as much as Hubby. Finding pleasure in seeing Hubby cringe with desire underneath my crop; as an example, I feel sexual power and pleasure. Not in a, ‘I hate men or kick him in the balls’, kind of way. For me, it’s knowing that he willingly submits himself, knowing that he trusts me to please him, it’s feeling excited to see the pleasure he feels when I punish him and so much more. Surprisingly, I began to discover a place of freedom and comfort.
Being a Switch isn’t always easy for me. There are times when I have to center myself after a session of being submissive before I feel comfortable and ready to switch. There others when I simply can’t cross over. Then there are those special moments when things flow and come together perfectly; going from submissive to dominant and back to submissive again.
The transformation and sexual enlightenment that being a Switch has brought me is difficult explain with its many layers. But one things for sure, it’s opened up a whole new world for our sex life and letting us connect in exciting new ways.
Being switch myself I completely identify with what you say here. Really well written.